You can't spell 'commercial' without commerce

This is getting ridiculous.

I'm now 30 years old, and I can remember back when there was a drive-in theater at the 309 Cinema. I remember when, for under $10, you can watch a feature, pig out on popcorn and hot dogs and Sour Patch Kids and down a soda.

I remember when you went to the movies to see a movie.

Why do people go to the movies? Great films? Good reviews? Favorite actor? Date night? Boredom? To get away from the monotony of TV?

If we focus on the latter, then we should assume that we are going to a cineplex to see a much larger and louder version than what's found on Channel 4,550 or On Demand.

Sure, there' s no comfort of the living room, with the plush couch, ottoman and access to the kitchen, but there's just something American and traditional about going to the movies.

We want to go to the movies to be entertained. We want to go to escape the monotony of TV ... and the incessant commercials.

But, like that relative you don't want to see or a bad penny, we can't get away from commercials.

If I'm paying close to $20 to go see a movie Friday night, I shouldn't have to sit through 20 minutes of commercials about Coca-Cola, Sprint, Sony or whatever new thing everyone is buying up at the local mega-corporate store.

Why can't we go to a movie and see a movie? Now, I have to leave my TV, which has commercials, only to sit in a much bigger living room (with people I don't know) to watch MORE commercials??

Then, I come home from said movie and say "I'm going to check out some more trailers and video for other movies by x director."

Now I go online, and find a video, and oh what's this? ANOTHER COMMERCIAL. My video will play in 15 seconds??!

And this is EVERYWHERE there is video, be it news media Web sites or other commercial Web sites.

Commercials are what pays for TV, just as ad revenue pays for newspapers.

But we need to draw the line somewhere. Peoples' attention spans -- and last nerves -- only last so long.

What's next, 3D commercials to go with the new 3D televisions? Will virtual reality headsets and implants make users wait patiently while a commercial for the new Ford P.O.S. plays??

Even in the mid-90s, the population never fathomed that commercials before a movie would fly -- probably because they put so many plugs for products in the movie themselves (My source for this: The June 1991 issue of MAD Magazine, specifically a panel in the parody "Home A-Groan." Sorry, I couldn't find the actual picture to post here.) Hey MAD has always been the voice for the repressed and majority, it's just t00 bad their comedy series was just painful.

So, if you are reading this blog, let me apologize for any commercials that preceded it (And if they did, there sure is irony in this post).

Next time, I'm going to time myself to see when I can sit down in my seat, grab a handful of $10 popcorn with rubbery butter, open my $7 box of SnoCaps, chug my $11 XXL cup of cherry cola and avoid the incessant commercials before my $14 movie.

Lights. Camera. Commercials. Transaction.

You're gonna laugh yourself to death!

Being a filmmaker that loves improv comedy, I'm drawn and inspired by other filmmakers of the genre.

There are three Web sites and movie groups I want to bring your attention to.

Most of their stuff is Safe For Work, and watching a few of their films takes the boredom away and it will have you returning to see what they come up with next.

The first Web site is 5 Second Films at www.5secondfilms.com.

They produce just what they say: a comedic film in five seconds, give or take a couple seconds of credit and black.

Better yet, they put up a new film every weekday. And I've spent many an hour at home laughing my arse off at their originality. I highly suggest you check them out.

Here's one video to get you started:



And another:



And one more (WARNING: ONE FOUL WORD):



The second one to bring to your attention is BriTANick Comedy at www.britanick.com.
They market themselves as two guys wasting their degrees. BriTANicK screamed into existence in early 2008 when Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher decided that they didn’t want to use the knowledge and experience they garnered in college for anything but creating short stupid videos that would make them laugh.

Here's a film making the rounds on Facebook and YouTube:




And another:



Lastly, if you're a fan of NBC's "Community," then you might recognize Donald Glover, one of the stars in the Derrick Comedy. http://www.youtube.com/user/derrickcomedy

They are releasing their film "Mystery Team" on May 25 on DVD.



And another one:




Sit back. Laugh. Enjoy. Hey, maybe even pick up a camera and make someone else laugh.

Oh, and while you're at it, check out an award-winning production made by the film company I'm affiliated with, Drop the Hat Productions. http://www.youtube.com/user/ProjectTwenty1#p/c/F1FB4637FB6B4744/5/uPUhRc9_Js0